Failing forward: How a year of running an agency changed my views on leadership

Since that day, I hope you might have seen my face on jury announcements, panels, newspaper articles and podcast covers – well, at least if you live in Germany and follow my career as devotedly as my parents do. From the outside, anyway, my first year of being the creative leader looks pretty shiny. And indeed, we – the agency’s collective leadership group – have achieved a lot. We’ve won wish-list clients, including some we didn’t even have to pitch for, because they wanted to work with us.

#BossBabe or #FailFemale?

That’s one way of looking at it. Here’s another.

A year ago, on 1 November 2023, I walked into the office as the managing director. Since that day, my colleagues have frequently seen my face with many frown lines and red eyes. They have heard plenty of sighs and curses. They have received meeting invites with names like: ‘Action plan’, ‘Personal update’, and worst of all ‘Resource update’ – meetings at which I’ve used words like ‘unfortunately’ way too often (and words like ‘awesome’ way too rarely).

When I took the role, I was aware that big changes were on the horizon. I was prepared to walk the talk, to take responsibility for the changes ahead (changes that I support). After all, I came straight from Amazon, where re-orgs (another euphemism), shifts and shuffles where normal to me.

These euphemisms and corporate aphorisms take on a life of their own. “We can all do hard things”: girl, yes we can! “Building the plane as we fly it”: that was my daily credo. “Being comfortable to be uncomfortable” was another one.

Moving fast, breaking things?

Behind the jargon, though, was a serious desire: We wanted to reposition, finding a new direction for Serviceplan without losing the good things that were already there.

But in order to re-build you have to demolish things first.

Looking back at my first 365 days at the helm, I can say that I underestimated how much a re-build can affect people. As I reflect on my actions and communications, I shake my head and sigh, because I feel like I made so many mistakes that I want to hide in a dark corner.

I’ve compiled these mistakes into a fuck-up list:

• Lack of clarity in internal communication.

• Lack of action (instead “hoping for the best”).

• Lack of ‘no’s (and giving ‘maybe’s instead).

• Lack of confidence in my own gut feelings.

Perhaps this article is a fuck-up too. What will my bosses think? Anyway, there’s no point in a fuck-up list without counter-balancing with advice on how to turn these fails into something of value. As I said, I’m trained to build the plane as I fly it.

Year 2: A path to better leadership

First, communication. Yes, part of being a leader is having to carry the bad news, the pressure and the anger. And yes, you do get paid to solve problems and not to pass them on. But you cannot do it alone. By communicating transparently with your leadership team and direct reports, you’re not ‘loading off’ on them; you’re proving that you take them seriously, as humans and as leaders.

Where I was silent before, I speak out now, as frankly and as clear as needed. By putting my directs ‘ in the know’, I enable them to be part of the solution.

Second, action. Strong actions at the start of your tenure might be seen as a ‘power play’ or unfair – they are not. You arrive with an outsider’s perspective; that is valuable. Don’t shy away from action for fear of not being liked. Action is your job. Being liked is optional.

Third, the power of no. Middle management can be like living in limbo. Eternal pain, very little glory. But there is a way to enjoy it: by using the word ‘no’ more often. Some more ‘no’s up the line might create some more ‘yes’es down the line. I dare you (and myself) to challenge the challengers. Be honest with the people who hired you – they got you for who you are, not as a puppet.

Fourth, confidence. Big surprise, I’ve doubted myself every day.

It’s not a bad thing to doubt; doubt opens a path to reflect, ask for feedback and to make more informed decisions. Doubt is good – to certain level. But if you’re being hired for a certain position or task, it’s because you can do it, because your opinion matters, because you ‘did it’ before. So, stay confident and follow your path. Not everyone will like it, but confidence means not shying away from it either way.

So, back to the start.

A year ago, on 1 November 2023 and five days before my thirty-sixth birthday, I walked into the Serviceplan Berlin office as its new managing director and leader of the creative department. And if Serviceplan lets me do it, I’ll be here the next 365 days (at least), still failing, but failing less. Promise.